


Anything to Declare

by LittleMissO



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:18:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissO/pseuds/LittleMissO
Summary: This is totally Regency's fault. All of it. That's pretty much everything you need to know about this one shot.





	Anything to Declare

Anything to Declare.

Hefting her suitcase onto the counter the Customs Officer had indicated Serena sighed internally. It was just her luck, she thought, to be selected for a random baggage search. The flight had been noisy and busy, leaving her unable to either sleep or catch up with the backlog of reports and articles she had to read. She was tired, tetchy, and slightly annoyed with herself. She’d know she was cutting it fine with the arrival time of this plane in the first place. This delay could push her over the edge into late – and that really wouldn’t do, not for one of the guest speakers. All in all, she concluded, this was the last thing she needed.

Serena looked at the Customs Officer standing on the other side of the counter in front of her. He looked like a jobsworth. She couldn’t say what it was about him that made her feel that way. His narrow, mean eyes? The huge expanse of his pale forehead? The over gelled hair? The expression of arrogance and disdain on his seemingly overly young face? Whatever it was that had triggered it, the initial impression was only confirmed when he opened his mouth and started asking the routine questions. His tone was barely one up from a whine, whatever that was, but it had a mocking edge to it. It sounded like he was enjoying his little power trip far too much. Doing a quick mental calculation of how many nerves she had left for him to get on, she decided the answer was no where near enough. Composing her face into as neutral an expression as she could manage she attempted to get this over and done with as quickly as possible.

The questions were predictable and straight forward enough: She was here for business; yes she’d packed her bag herself; and no, she didn’t have anything to declare. So far, so painless, well, apart from the grating of the young man’s voice. 

“If you wouldn’t mind opening the case for me.” he asked. Almost done, Serena thought, as she unzipped the lid of the leopard print case and spun it round so the open side faced the Officer. He proceeded to search the case with painstaking slowness. There was something in the expression on his face that made Serena think that he wasn’t just doing this because he could. He looked like he was enjoying rummaging around in her underwear far too much. Serena could feel her flesh start to crawl, but willed herself to stay calm and get through this as smoothly as possible. At least she thought the underwear was clean – although she wondered mildly if the odious man might actually preferred it if it had been worn. Resisting the urge to tap her feet she waited for him to finish his search and let her be on her way. There was, she knew, nothing in the suitcase that shouldn’t be there. It was just as she was thinking this that a gleam of triumph flashed across the Officer’s face.

“Can you tell me what this is for?” he asked looking at the item he was holding aloft. It was at this point Serena realised exactly how bad an idea it had been to attempt to pack her suitcase whilst Sian had been visiting.

When Sian had called her and complained that it had been far too long since they had seen each other Serena knew she had a point. Serena had impressed on Sian how very busy work had been, how very behind she was with her conference guest speaker slot preparation, and how imperative it was that she spent some focused time at home completing her presentation. In her turn Sian had impressed upon Serena how very long it had been since they had caught up, the significant amount of scandalous details she had to impart about her latest romance, and how very much she needed to get extremely drunk in an upmarket wine bar.

The compromise they had reached had been that they would meet at Serena’s place. Sian could talk and drink and Serena could listen and pack. That was how Sian had come to be reclining on the pillows of Serena’s bed, glass of wine in hand, regaling her with tales of tales of sexual exploits with her latest toy boy lover. Serena meanwhile was trying to concentrate on what Sian was telling her and on getting the right clothes and toiletries into her suitcase simultaneously.

She was just considering which of her blouses she should pack, based purely on which would crease least in transit, when she could have sworn she heard Sian say  
“He tried to convince me that sperm facials were the next big thing.”

Serena’s mouth opened to let out an “umm” of agreement at the half heard comment before her brain registered what Sian had said and it became a “What?” of disbelief

“Oh, so you are listening then,” Sian replied at the sound of disgusted shock coming from Serena.

“So he didn’t...” Serena asked obliquely – not entirely sure she wanted to hear the answer.

“Of course he didn’t!” exclaimed Sian. “What do you take me for – other than boring.” she asked, a faint look of hurt in her eyes. Serena stopped what she was doing, sat herself on the edge of the bed, dropped her hands in her lap and said.

“I’m sorry. It’s been a long few days and...” she took a deep breath. “Never mind. I’ll go and grab a fresh bottle of wine and my paperwork from the office. Could you grab my toiletries bag from my chest of drawers and put that pile of stuff on the dresser in it? Then that’ll be the last of the packing done and I'll be all ears” Serena promises. She pats Sian’s hand reassuringly before she gets up and leaves the bedroom.

It doesn’t take Serena long to gather up the wine and put together the hard copy of her presentation to re-read on the plane. Nor does it take her long to collect together an optimistic pile of over due to be read reports and papers, ostensibly also to be read on the plane.

When she returns to the bedroom Sian is still sitting on her bed looking for all the world as if she hasn’t moved. The only evidence to the contrary is the now empty wine glass on the bedside table next to her, and the firmly zipped suitcase on the edge of the bed. Dropping the pile of documents on the dresser Serena turns to Sian and holds up the open wine bottle.

“Top up?” she asks 

Sian doesn’t need words to respond – she just throws Serena a look that’s all incredulous eyes and raised eyebrow. Serena doesn’t need any words to understand what Sian is saying. Her look is eloquent enough. She pours Sian a glassful of the overly drinkable Shiraz, tops her own glass up and settles next to Sian on the bed.

“I’ve figured out what you need.” Sian states once she has taken a large swig of her wine.

“Oh.” Serena says cautiously, very aware that you can never be quite sure what Sian is going to come up with.

“Mmhmm” Sian confirms in a nonchalant tone. “Some raw, sweaty, unadulterated, vigorous passion.” she continues with much more feeling and deliberation.

Serena splutters into her wine. 

“Chance would be a fine thing” she manages as her coughing fit eases up.

“Who knows who you’ll impress with your presentation.”

“It’s on health economics and the NHS budgeting cycle, with an emphasis on maximising efficiency. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘brazen seductress’ does it? Besides most of the delegates will be middle aged, middle class, balding misogynists with paunches and far too in love with the sound of their own voices.”

“Sounds delightful” Sian screws her face up in displeasure. “Still, never say never. Maybe this time there will be someone worth getting to know there.”

“That,” Serena pronounces, “would indeed be a miracle. Speaking of which, this new man of yours. Come on, spill the ret of the details.” 

The rest of the evening had been a haze of shiraz and salacious details of Sian’s love life. It was a common enough theme for an evening spent in each others company. Serena hadn’t given it a second thought. Not until the Customs Officer had held aloft his find and Serena had instantly recognised what it was.

Of course, she thought, Sian knew she owned it. Sian had been the one who brought it for her. Serena had, over the years, got used to odd and inappropriate gifts from Sian. This one had been arguably the most outrageous. Ever since Sian had presented her with it, it had been hidden deep in Serena’s chest of drawers. The very same drawer that Serena kept her toiletries bag in. The same drawer that Serena had asked Sian to dig about in only the previous day. Suddenly the comments about her love life (or lack of it) made sense. Serena realised that Sian must have found it whilst she was searching for her toiletries bag and decided to pack it for her as a surprise. It had indeed been a surprise - and not just for her, she thought as her attention turned back to the man the other side of the counter. 

He had a look on his face that Serena somehow recognised but couldn’t quite place. It certainly said that he was enjoying himself and taking far too much pleasure in throwing his authority around.

“Well?” he said with an air of arrogance and superiority that instantly put Serena’s back up, and jogged her memory. Edward, she thought. That’s exactly the tone he used to speak to me in when he thought he had one over on me. It was with that realisation that Serena snapped. Throwing caution to the wind she drew herself up to her full height and turned her scathing gaze onto the unpleasant specimen in front of her. There was no way, she decided, that she was going to let this odious excuse of a man make her feel small or embarrassed. In a clear, carrying, and somewhat louder than strictly necessary voice, she said,

“You don’t know what this is? Let me enlighten you. It’s a dildo. A sex toy. It’s designed to give a woman pleasure.” She looks the man up and down. “I assure you” she continues, “that if you ask your girlfriend she’ll know exactly what a dildo is. After all a girl needs to get her satisfaction from somewhere.” 

The man is starting to turn red. It’s obvious from his eyes and demeanour that he is regretting trying to embarrass Serena, and is wishing that she’d keep her voice down a little. Serena can see that he’s about to try and silence her, but she’s in no mood for that, she hasn’t finished with him yet. She continues without giving him a chance to interject.

“This particular model is called a HellBone, otherwise known as the Dildo of Doom. It’s designed with a wide girth and several inches of insertable length to maximise pleasure. And, for added sensation, you’ll see it has semi realistic ridges.” she concludes as she gesticulates at the object the Customs Office is still holding aloft. Realising he is brandishing it like some kind of bizarre weapon the Officer drops it back into the suitcase as rapidly as if it had bitten him and takes a rapid step back from the counter. He starts to scrabble around for some kind of response, but before he can come up with anything Serena takes charge of the conversation again.

“Now, if that’s everything, I for one have certainly got better things to do with my time.” and she reaches smoothly for the case, spins it round to face her and smartly zips it shut.

“I do hope you do too,” she says as she lifts the case off the counter, “It would be rather sad if the only source of pleasure in your life was trying to embarrass travellers.” Leaving the Officer quaking in a tongue tied silence she turns and steps briskly away from the counter and starts to move off. She’s barely taken a step before she hear the most unusual laugh she has ever encountered start to ring out before it is swiftly smothered and replaced by a less than convincing “Sorry.”

The laugh has come from a slender blonde woman leaning against the wall just beyond the Customs counter. Serena realises that the woman must have heard everything she’d just said. Before she can bristle with indignation to cover up the awkward situation the woman starts to speak. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear your conversation. It was a bit hard not to.” Serena tries to stop herself going red. “I was rather impressed with the way you put him in his place. He had it coming if you ask me, Miss Campbell,”

“I’m sorry, do we know each other? “ Serena asks, confused. She looks the woman up and down, taking in the messy blonde hair, the beguiling way her black jeans cling to her curves, and the hint of mischief in her eye. She was pretty sure she didn’t know the woman. She was stunning, and she was very sure she would have remembered.

“Sort of.” The woman replies in one of the most inviting voices Serena has ever heard. “At least I know you, but we’ve never met.”

Serena looks even more confused.

“You’re one of the Guest speakers at the Global Medical Developments and Innovations conference, aren’t you? I recognise you from your photo in the publicity brochure. I’m attending the Conference too. I spotted you ahead of me at Customs, I was going to ask if you wanted to share a cab to the Hotel. The little side show I was treated to was just an added bonus.” the woman adds with a coy smile.

“I don’t usually share taxi’s with people unless I at least know their name.” Serena teases with a mischievous glint of her own.

“Bernie Wolfe, Major” the woman offers and holds out her hand. Serena takes it. It’s strong and soft and feels good in her hand.

“Glad to meet you. Well now the formalities are out of the way, I’d be delighted to share a taxi with you. Lead the way soldier.” 

“Excellent” says Bernie and the two women walk of in the direction of the cab rank.

“So,” Bernie continues companionably “Tell me about this HellBone” and she shoots Serena a look full of promise. Maybe, Serena thinks, this Conference isn’t going to be so bad after all.


End file.
